Zoe. Warrior woman.

Bytemite wrote: I want to see this fic.

If you mean the new one, well... i write SLOOOOW. so don't hold your breath, ha-ha! but it is coming along. and the thematic points are very much inspired by dialogue up in the threads here re; Mal as much as Zoe.

btw; i think you handle Jayne very nicely in the most recent chapter, i mean i was seeing Jayne/Baldwin clear as the series. I may have complimented you on that before, i know i mentioned my problem keeping him realistic and not just the man-ape gone wrong comic foil.

Well, it's exciting anyway, a good horse race fic is so perfectly western.

I ought to write so Zoe baby shower fics. But unfortunately, the only baby showers I've ever been to have been the dreadful die-of-boredom Utah kind. Anyone ever been to a rowdy shower?

(Might be gone most of the rest of the day, I'll see if my internet is back up when I get home)

Bytemite wrote:Anyone ever been to a rowdy shower?

Only baby shower I've ever been to was when I was showered. A bunch of us ladies (the men sat outside on the porch doing, one presumes, manly things) sat around and opened presents of sweet little baby things and made cooing noises and were all disgustingly cute. It was fun. But not very rowdy.

Only baby shower I've ever been to was when I was showered.

Huh. I wasn't aware you had little EBs running around.

I've been to... Let me think. Probably seven showers by now. My cousins are all getting married... Five so far, out of 24 total (it's Utah).

Keep in mind I'm permanently single, and in Utah, they don't have a one-shower-and-done rule, they expect gifts EVERY time a zygote implants in their uterus.

Also it should be known that I find infants unhygienic at best, and frustrating and contemptible at worst. Four hours of TALK about infants or infant care or products exceeds my yearly quota.

I don't drink, but I have come to sincerely believe that only alcohol or an attempted burglary/mugging could possibly improve these showers.

...Hmm.

Bytemite wrote:I have come to sincerely believe that only alcohol or an attempted burglary/mugging could possibly improve these showers.

Oh, man! You have seriously *got* to write Zoe's baby shower with a mugging/burglary attempt/barfight in it! No, don't give Zoe a boring baby shower. Zoe doesn't coo over cute things, anyway; that's more Kaylee's schtick. Zoe would look at the baby gifts in terms of their practicality.

ebfiddler987 wrote:

Bytemite wrote:I have come to sincerely believe that only alcohol or an attempted burglary/mugging could possibly improve these showers.

Oh, man! You have seriously *got* to write Zoe's baby shower with a mugging/burglary attempt/barfight in it! No, don't give Zoe a boring baby shower. Zoe doesn't coo over cute things, anyway; that's more Kaylee's schtick. Zoe would look at the baby gifts in terms of their practicality.

ok, at this point i must break and say; in the lands of Brit we have no such thing, nor phrase.
every time i read 'baby shower' i see a shower of babies... and imagine zoe and mal in firefly's tribute to the tribble episodes on star trek...
which, ok, they could do that actually.

No baby showers in the Land of Brit? My, oh my. And here I was, all caught up in wondering what the purpose of a toast rack is, and why anyone would want one. Well, my days of wondering at transatlantic differences in customs are certainly coming to a middle. (Too many emoticons in one paragraph? ) Explication: mother-to-be is showered with gifts from her friends, hence baby shower.

And back to topic: Zoe would probably describe most baby showers as having "too much foofaraw" -- hence the thoughts of a baby-shower-with-bar-fight to mitigate the saccharine element.

And wytch, you simply *must* write that Firefly tribute to tribbles, employing showers of babies therein as your fancy sees fit.

The Wytchcroft River contribution to the worst fic ever thread could pull off a baby shower like that. drowning in babies.

Never living that down you know.

I imagine Jayne giving Zoe a bottle of really cheap engine stripping whiskey and everyone yelling at him.

ebfiddler987 wrote: My, oh my. And here I was, all caught up in wondering what the purpose of a toast rack is, and why anyone would want one.

whoah - i've been working on mine for some time now; some people got a six-pack; at least i gotta toast rack. i'm a wytch of modest ambition.

And wytch, you simply *must* write that Firefly tribute to tribbles, employing showers of babies therein as your fancy sees fit.

be careful what you wish for...
though i will post the rest of the horse fic later.

Bytemite wrote:The Wytchcroft River contribution to the worst fic ever thread could pull off a baby shower like that. drowning in babies.

Never living that down you know.

but can i live up to it - that is the question...

I imagine Jayne giving Zoe a bottle of really cheap engine stripping whiskey and everyone yelling at him.

LOL right there with ya.

"Hey! Aint intended for Zoe. For the baby, colic and such. What you think i wanna be tryin' to sleep on a boat full of burping infants?"

"Just how many you imagine us having Jayne?"

"One starts and that's just the beginning of it. all i'm saying."

*receives flying wrench from Kaylee*

"Ow. Colic and such."

You know, if Jayne's mother taught him that you should give a baby alcohol to keep them quiet, that would explain a helluva lot.

And it kind of fits, there's some supplemental material that suggests Jayne was binge drinking beer by the age of ten.

Bytemite wrote:You know, if Jayne's mother taught him that you should give a baby alcohol to keep them quiet, that would explain a helluva lot.

And it kind of fits, there's some supplemental material that suggests Jayne was binge drinking beer by the age of ten.

Merciful mother Buddha i can see it now; old cartridge case with a fading ill-used school book and an assignment on his first gun, a dog-chewed report card/suspension notice, cylinder from an old carbine and an empty jar of pickling alcohol, quarter bottle of rye swiped from a travelling salesman and a couple of hats his mom made.

In the uk there were many infants addicted via gripe-water as it was known, until it became illegal to put alcohol in it.
Then again, in Victorian times, the single biggest cause of UK infant mortality was laudanum.
so it goes.

And, well, while Jayne has some street smarts and savviness and knows when to be suspicious, he's not very quick-witted or socially apt. He misses a lot of nuances in conversations and has to have things explained to him. Drinking when he was growing like that, could have done something to his mind.

The other option is that Jayne attempts to buy Zoe baby's first gun. Though I doubt Mal would be any better at buying a baby shower gift, not unless Inara was helping him.

Which is another good story idea, especially if people automatically assume Inara is pregnant and they're a couple. Much embarrassment! Also, Mal finds a breast milk pump and asks Inara what it is. Actually that whole scene could be hilariously uncomfortable and full of tension. He first thinks he might just buy Zoe some diapers and save some time, but then decides to get a crib and assemble it.