Rapid Fire Ficcing

Take five and done! (five minute fics are not necessarily a prerequisite to posting, but effortless is the aim. If you get stuck, move to the next idea. Silliness and drama encouraged!)

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Inara supposed she was preoccupied, and only became aware of the presence of her visitor when her shuttle door slid shut. She turned, aggravated; there was only one person who would intrude on her like this, even if he was supposed to be on the other side of Athens.

"There's a crazy lady out there trying to kill me," he announced without preamble, breathing hard and making a dash towards the shuttle helm and the viewscreen.

Her visit with the CEO of Hummond Textiles had concluded, and she had a number of items that she would try to sell on the next world - not that she would tell Mal about his new source of income. A quick glance in the mirror over her vanity assured her that she looked lofty and untouchable. She composed herself, and followed him.

"That's different from normal, how?" she asked, watching him go through the start up sequence, before she sighed and stepped in to help. Perhaps she wasn't quite so calm as she would have liked. That was far more sarcastic than was becoming. She tried a different tact. "Mal, Zoe is pregnant, not crazy. Whatever you did..."

"Just go!" he said, a little more frantic than usual.

damn internet went down before - this was a fab read, loved it.

Once you get on a roll these little fics are pretty fun. I'll post some more fics or ideas tomorrow evening after work.

That will be a treat. Very much look forward to it.

Very fun! I like the angle you took with Inara's perspective, calibrating her responses to him so carefully...and the little bit about Hummond Textiles and secret income is intriguing!

Tadada-boom! (rim shot)

Hahahaha love it!

Also, thanks for starting this. What a good idea!

Loved it! Looking forward to more of these! I'm really glad you suggested this thread!

Well everyone can feel free to join in. All I'm going for is a punchline or some point that can be explored in a few lines or so.

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The infirmary was appalling. Expired medicine and painkillers, no sense or reason where anything was stored, just complete disarray. Simon supposed he couldn't expect any different from a group of people who had no medical training beyond field dressing. But now that the crisis was over and the crew's mechanic was moving around again - against his recommendations - he had been offered work and employ, and he did not take his duties lightly.

He'd gone down to try to make some headway, took one look at the mess, and slammed the cabinets in disgust. This would take weeks to sort out. Simon was still trying to decide where he could even start, when he saw his sister out in the cargo bay, staring at some spot on the grating floor. He approached carefully, trying not to startle her, but she seemed completely engrossed in whatever she was doing.

"Simon," she called, as if she knew he was there all along. "There's... blood, here. And here." She seemed to be struggling with the words, as if she couldn't quite place her meaning. Her brow furrowed. "No. A... stick. Twig. Leaves. They're everywhere."

Simon looked; he couldn't see anything. He took her by the shoulder, trying to calculate how long it was since she'd taken her medicine. "Let's get you something to eat," he suggested.

"Watch how they... dinosaur," she muttered.

holy wow but you're cooking with gas!

Jayne had stopped short of the galley, his mouth gone dry. Oh there was white lace and gauzy silk flowing over that willowy and supple body, and he had to look, eyes trailing over her bountiful shape. He had his appetites, and wasn't about to give them up for nothin' or nohow, no matter what they all thought.

River was giggling at him, and the Shepherd had his bible open like to officiate and looked mighty disturbed. "The marriage was consummated but not official," she announced.

Jayne trundled over and lifted up his precious Vera, veiled and sultry as she was. "The hell? Gonna clog her insides with all this goushi," he complained, admiring her all the same. He cradled his very favourite gun, and shot a glare at the crazy girl. "You leave her alone. She's mine."

He stalked off to his bunk.

I have killed the thread with my horrifying Jayne headcanon.

Bwahaha!

I have to say, though, I would not bet against Jayne and Saffron hooking up.

gilliebeans wrote:Bwahaha!

I have to say, though, I would not bet against Jayne and Saffron hooking up.

I would bet against them kissing.

Oh, I actually REALLY like Jayne and Saffron. Jayne's the only one dumb enough/egotistical enough on the crew that he thinks he can actually "keep her in line", Saffron sees him as an easy mark but his paranoia and practical savvy makes him surprisingly able to catch on to her tricks.

I wouldn't ever call it anything like a loving or romantic relationship, but according to their particular skewed attitudes and lifestyle they'd make really good off and on partners. Not marriage or kids though, never, neither one's the marrying type - Saffron doesn't MEAN it and Jayne wouldn't go for the commitment.

So Saffron would be off swindling other guys and Jayne would be visiting cathouses and using his guns whenever they're not in each other's path.

Jeez-louweeze, will you guys stop looking into my computer hard drive? I am not posting that chapter until Thursday! Spoilers, spoilers, spoilers. (*grumbles and reads over chapter 10 of currently-posting fic at FFF.net, which involves -- you guessed it -- Jayne and Saffron.*)

*thumbs up to EB*

By the way, I have appreciated the comments, but I wanted to get the ball rolling in this thread. I promise that when someone else posts a fic I will respond in a social and constructive manner.

gilliebeans wrote:Bwahaha!

I have to say, though, I would not bet against Jayne and Saffron hooking up.

uh-oh this where my mal/saff shippage rears its ugly head...

They certainly had a moment when he found her in the cabin. *heave heave* That's Saffron's bosom.

Yeah, although Saffron has no respect for Mal, because she knows all his buttons and he's REALLY gullible. But he's not dumb enough he'd ever let himself be seduced again.

Jayne's dumb, but not really gullible, you know?

Simon's first month on Serenity had been an experience, to say the least, but every time he thought he had settled into routine, the unexpected always seemed to come up.

He gazed at the spectacle unfolding before him in the cargo bay from the metal landing, making a few false starts at voicing his confusion. Finally, he managed a coherent reaction: "Where are your SHIRTS?" he blurted.

Mal - indeed shirtless underneath his coat - stopped fist-fighting with Jayne (also half dressed) and looked over at Wash, whose chest was bare under a hawaiian shirt - currently tying a surprisingly compliant Zoe to a chair. Who was, even more inexplicably, wearing a striking leather skirt. The captain shrugged. "Role-playin'," he answered.

"Not much else to do," Jayne explained. "Go stir crazy if y'don't do somethin' 'bout the boredom out here."

Simon felt his jaw work a couple times. "Role-playing," he repeated, dumbfounded. Simon saw Book following the proceedings from the ground with about as much puzzlement, and the older man shook his head.

"We're pirates," Wash elaborated helpfully. River burst in, a hankerchief tied around her hair, skipping to music that only she could hear. She joined hands with Kaylee, who was wearing a petticoat and a short blouse, low cut and off-the shoulder.

Mal saw the look on Simon's face and rolled his eyes. "But not really - pirates steal ships. We just steal everything else."

"And make illegal downloads from the cortex," River added cheerfully.

"Don't go confusing the issue," Mal told her. "Anyway, Kaylee's probably lookin' to abduct you, doc. You want out of this with your dignity to spare, you gotta do what I say." The normally wholesome girl appeared at the captain's elbow, with an even more gleeful than usual expression on her face and a mania born from pure infatuation.

"Pirates," Simon said weakly. He could actually feel his mind breaking.

Mal sighed at him; the boy was hopeless. "Kaylee, seems there's an echo in here. See to that." She gave a squeal, hiked up her skirts, and dashed up the stairs after him, and it occurred belatedly to Simon that he should run. But he'd just seen Inara, wearing a pair of tight pants, no less, swing from a rope across the gap between the catwalks, and that gave Kaylee all the opening she needed to tackle him.

Completely delightful! And the last line was a thing of joy and beauty Thanks much!

You just know Inara loves it when they involve her in their crazy antics.

Bytemite wrote:Simon's first month on Serenity had been an experience, to say the least, but every time he thought he had settled into routine, the unexpected always seemed to come up.

GAH! i nearly missed this charming piece being in a thread i thought i was up to date on and all. Separate entries for your fics, please (the pretty kind of) ??? -
or, or, ok yes; a big whooshy, flashy, heavy sign and possibly alarm, there could be alarms - but, you know, not the scary kind.