Companioning: Is the Oldest Profession also the Most Respectable?

This thread is prompted by a discussion in the Characters section of Mal's Ma and her background. In it (through layers upon layers of various folks's headcanons) the thought arose that, supposing Mal were to have relatives living in the Core (on his mother's side) what would they think of his close association with a Registered Companion? Would they think positively or negatively of Mal and Inara being together?

In Joss's Firefly 'Verse, we're given to understand that Registered Companions are respectable people -- some of the most respectable people in the 'Verse, in fact. This is explicitly stated in several episodes (Train Job and Out of Gas), and at the very least implied in a number of others (Serenity pilot, for example); it's also stated that candidates for the profession are selected from "good" families (Serenity movie). At the same time, there are a number of instances in which Inara or her profession are disrespected (Atherton Wing comes to mind). And I do mean, other than Mal calling Inara 'whore' -- which clearly is a personal thing between them, and the reasons for that specific dynamic are the topic for another discussion entirely. I'd like to keep this thread on the topic of Companions in the 'Verse in general, and how the citizens of the 'Verse in general view Companions and the profession of Companioning.

I think that Joss can't have his cake and eat it, too. If Companions are indeed some of the most respected people in the 'Verse, and if Companioning truly differs from whoring and is a well-accepted and respectable profession, then it follows that disrespectful people like Atherton Wing must be outliers, rather than the general rule.

It may be impossible to have a fair discussion of this topic, in this day and age, when prostitution as presently practiced is generally considered to be exploitative and denigrating to women. Not to mention the fact that many people find the practice in and of itself to be morally reprehensible, regardless of circumstances. Joss is said to have drawn inspiration from other times and places in cultural history, when certain classes of prostitutes (for lack of a better term) were accorded higher status: Geisha in Shogunate Japan and Courtesans in Renaissance Italy. I think for purposes of this discussion, we have to posit that culture in the 'Verse has evolved to some point at which the general view is that Companioning is not inherently immoral, although clearly there are still individual differences of opinion on the matter.

So, getting back to the specific thing that prompted me to start this thread:

Bytemite wrote:In the RPG, it's suggested that the upper crust considers companions acceptable escorts to events, but that a companion as a wife would never work for various reasons and that a person who marries one would be the object of jokes and nasty comments.

I'd have to disagree with the RPG's take on this entirely. I think the person who marries a Companion would be the object of considerable envy. After all, everybody knows they now have access to the Companion's considerable network of social and business contacts, inside access to the 'Verse's elite, not to mention a Companion's considerable skills in navigating social, business, and political situations. And of course everyone would assume that the Companion's spouse would have no complaints about...shall we say satisfaction of personal needs. I would think that being so lucky as to succeed in attracting a Companion as a spouse would be something that political, business, and social elites would aspire to. The only exception I can think of is, if indeed there is a King of Londinium who wears a shiny hat, perhaps the *most* elite of the elites would avoid marriage with a Companion, because of a need to live a carefully scripted and protected life. Companions are too connected, and their association with an independent extra-governmental organization (the Guild) is a contraindication for induction into the royal family. Royalty have to cultivate a certain aloofness to maintain their status. But I'm not sure there is Royalty in the 'Verse -- despite the elites of Persephone insisting upon the use of pretentious titles like "Sir Warwick." I think that, other than super-elites such as royalty (which may not really exist in the 'Verse), the elites could not consider themselves "above" Companions, as many of the Companions are themselves drawn from those same elite ranks.

Anyway, a long preamble here. Share your thoughts on Companions and their respectability. Or lack thereof.

Ouch! I'm about to get hammered by you guys here, I think most everyone else here would agree with you, EB.

I tend to go along with what's in the RPG, simply because of what I know about French courtesans and geisha. The respect the professions would get was rather two faced - admiring on the surface, but something less admiring and more judgmental underneath. You'd spend your money to spend time with a beautiful, smart, amazing woman (in contrast with the uneducated and oppressed women that the men of the times were used to), but you would never take her home to meet the parents, and she would never expect that either. Occasionally one of them might marry; the geisha was expected to retire and couldn't continue practicing, and the courtesan's husband would be derided as a cuckold whether or not she retired. The geisha would want the protections her profession would offer, and most would-be suitors for a courtesan wouldn't bother because of the stigma, and so many would remain unmarried.

Joss said that in the future for Firefly, he thought that humanity would have all the same problems. So I imagine prostitutes, concubines, and companions all have the same problems too.

perhaps the *most* elite of the elites would avoid marriage with a Companion, because of a need to live a carefully scripted and protected life. Companions are too connected, and their association with an independent extra-governmental organization (the Guild) is a contraindication for induction into the royal family. Royalty have to cultivate a certain aloofness to maintain their status.

It's possible that all of the upper crust are like this. I mean, Gabriel Tam was most concerned with looking like nothing was out of the ordinary for his family and never missing a tea party. With the amount of money involved in a marriage, families might very closely scrutinize all marriage prospects, and Companions might be seen as potentially gold-digging and untrustworthy, with unknown allegiances. Similarly a family taking advantage of scholarships offered to their children entering a companion program might be seen as having fallen from grace if that's the only education they can afford for their children.

Generally it's not true, but they all still have their biases. Much like the rampant Inara hate we see in the fandom - 500 years from now and I don't think this kind of "slut-shaming" will ever go away. In the very least, Joss can explore it if these attitudes exist, and he loves stories about women overcoming obstacles and being empowered, and it's also dramatic.

I think you make a good point about the respect being two-faced. Officially, Companions are high status, but people may still talk...because people talk about stuff like that. Also, good point that some things about human nature don't change much, no matter what the time and place.
But I'm not going to hammer you, Byte -- and it doesn't look like anyone else is, either!

They should post soon. I linked some of them to the thread because this discussion is the kind of thing they love.

(I like it too)

I'd like to caveat my above points to say that I don't think the guild is evil. I do think they have political power, but at the same time I also think they might be widely misunderstood, even by the upper crust. Perhaps only a companion knows what it's really like to be a companion.

Interestingly, this thread has really helped me with my writing! Even though only Bytemite and I have participated, and otherwise the silence is deafening, it seems that just sorting out my thoughts enough to make a coherent post to start the thread has stirred up the creative juices, somehow. In the last couple of days I have written five pages of backstory (headcanon) for Inara, and I think it's really going to help with my story arc, even though probably only a small part of it will be incorporated into the current story (affectionately given the temporary title of "馬屁 Mǎpì").

If you're not going to post all of it in your story, I'd be very interested in reading it even if it's in note form.

I have finished a drawing as of late yesterday night, and have some time perhaps for some rapid fire fics.

Sometimes Inara can be difficult to know, so I'm just happy it's flowing right now. My notes are mostly Inara's thoughts about her home life, when she was young, her mother and father, etc. Very headcanon-y. Hooray about the artwork, Bytemite. Are you going to post it at FFF?

Well, it's more Mal/Inara stuff, which is a little embarrassing. But, I have maybe an Inara picture in mind which will be less shippy and done in a style that might be a good addition.

I'd have to disagree with the RPG's take on this entirely. I think the person who marries a Companion would be the object of considerable envy. After all, everybody knows they now have access to the Companion's considerable network of social and business contacts, inside access to the 'Verse's elite, not to mention a Companion's considerable skills in navigating social, business, and political situations. And of course everyone would assume that the Companion's spouse would have no complaints about...shall we say satisfaction of personal needs. I would think that being so lucky as to succeed in attracting a Companion as a spouse would be something that political, business, and social elites would aspire to.

I had another thought as I was looking through these older threads today.

Isn't this actually still kinda disrespectful in some ways? Instead of falling in love with the person, it's falling in love with the benefits they can provide. If there are people in the core who do think like this, and there may very well be some, then the people who think like this therefore think of companions as a TROPHY.

Which when you think of someone like Atherton Wing...

Perhaps it all starts out seeming like respect, which is why Inara continued to see him. But perhaps it's really not respectful, and it took exposing Atherton for being kind of an awful controlling sociopath to shed new light on his particular mindset.

I read in someone's post a long time ago (can't remember whom, I think it was on lj) that the conflicting responses we see to Inara's profession are a result of the imperfect melding of 2 cultures. In my headcanon, Companions on Sihnon are thoroughly and unequivocally respected. Of course, people are still curious and still titillated by the nature of their work - human nature doesn't change - but they are understood as pandisciplinary experts in human sexuality, along with their other areas of expertise. Sihnonese culture has arrived at his place after several hundred years of evolution of social and cultural thought.

On other worlds, people have different views of Companions due to their own cultural upbringing and other factors. Some, like Kaylee, seem to buy in to the respectability of the profession, even though she isn't from Inara's culture. In Mal and Inara's first meeting, his hostility seemed more politically motivated than driven by a moral distaste for her job.

Oh hi!

In Mal and Inara's first meeting, his hostility seemed more politically motivated than driven by a moral distaste for her job.

Yes, very much this.

I don't think Mal's mother was a companion herself, but I think she came from the core and possibly brought some core ideas about women and feminism. This contrasted with traditional and religious Shadow and some prudish and judgmental attitudes and strict standards about women and their reputation and proper conduct. So Mal knows how to fake that so he could fit in on Shadow, even if he doesn't necessarily agree.

And with Inara it's convenient to fake that attitude, where he has no problem with Kaylee being boy crazy (unless he has to SEE it) and no problem with Zoe defying traditional gender roles.

In my headcanon, Companions on Sihnon are thoroughly and unequivocally respected. Of course, people are still curious and still titillated by the nature of their work - human nature doesn't change - but they are understood as pandisciplinary experts in human sexuality, along with their other areas of expertise. Sihnonese culture has arrived at his place after several hundred years of evolution of social and cultural thought.

Yes, very much so, that's pretty much my headcanon as well. Depending on the cultural influences at play on the various worlds, people there are either more or less accepting of the respectability of Companioning, yet they're all aware that it is considered very respectable most places. Otherwise, Inara's swoop-in-and-save in the Train Job would have been ineffective.

In Mal and Inara's first meeting, his hostility seemed more politically motivated than driven by a moral distaste for her job.

Yes, and later on the hostility he expresses toward her job has much more to do with the fact that it stands in the way of his having the kind of relationship he wants with her, than because it isn't considered respectable.

I'd have to disagree with the RPG's take on this entirely. I think the person who marries a Companion would be the object of considerable envy. After all, everybody knows they now have access to the Companion's considerable network of social and business contacts, inside access to the 'Verse's elite, not to mention a Companion's considerable skills in navigating social, business, and political situations. And of course everyone would assume that the Companion's spouse would have no complaints about...shall we say satisfaction of personal needs. I would think that being so lucky as to succeed in attracting a Companion as a spouse would be something that political, business, and social elites would aspire to.

Isn't this actually still kinda disrespectful in some ways? Instead of falling in love with the person, it's falling in love with the benefits they can provide. If there are people in the core who do think like this, and there may very well be some, then the people who think like this therefore think of companions as a TROPHY.

It's not necessarily thinking of Companions as a trophy. It's an old-fashioned (like 18th century) view of marriage as a contract of mutual support, rather than a manifestation of romantic love, which is an idea that took hold some time in the 19th century and has come to dominate our thinking about marriage. What's to say things wouldn't cycle around in a few centuries to the point of view that "back in the 21st century" people's notions that love alone was a solid foundation for marriage, was what led to so many of those marriages failing, when the first blazes of passion died down? That would lead to a reconsideration of what other elements go into providing a solid foundation for a lasting relationship--and things like mutual friendship and respect, and yes, financial stability too, come into play. I agree that marrying a Companion only for their network of contacts and high social status smacks of trophyism.

Here's another thought. Perhaps it's both?

I mean feminism is officially out of the box, and there's no going back in the box unless a girl is raised in a really backwards and stifling environment where she'd never learn about feminism. Like on Triumph. Or maybe very religious locations that would judge more harshly.

So because most people of the future have internalized ideas about feminism they're less likely to judge companions for what they do unless or until it poses an obstacle to their own lives. Like with the Councilor on Ezra in War Stories. She's very respectful of Inara and what she does, and makes some feminist sounding comments about powerful women, but then she becomes disapproving when intrudes on her personal life (presumably because of the risk Niska poses, and also trying to protect her husband and son).

Really the closest we ever come to a woman trying to slut-shame Inara in Firefly is a couple times when Zoe says some pretty judgmental things, like in Trash when they have a brief conversation about faking, and then in Better Days when she seems to blame Inara and her job for getting Mal captured. But this is almost certainly because Zoe is trying to be protective of Mal, in an interesting parallel with how Mal was probably trying to "protect" Zoe from Wash.

However, in the core, despite there being some implied respectability from feminism about companions that most everyone accepts, there might still be misgivings about marrying a companion, basically upper class families trying to protect their wealth and legacy as opposed to an underlying disapproval of what the companion does. Both the respect AND the misgivings could be real and exist as attitudes at the same time. The misgivings are not a product disapproval or disrespect, it's just the reality of life and business in the core.

I didn't read Zoe and Inara's exchange about faking as judgmental. I thought it was a pretty frank exchange about the logistics of Companioning, with a nice little bit of musing on emotional intimacy thrown in. I thought it was interestingly intimate - Inara asks Zoe about her sexual history and her relationship with Wash, and Zoe doesn't hesitate about sharing pertinent details. Zoe doesn't say Companion's work is repugnant to her because of any morality about a sexual transaction, my take is, she's basically saying she wouldn't want to tolerate mediocre sex while pretending it was satisfying sex, even though she admits to having done it. Call it a low boredom threshold.

And, I think we have to look at the entire conversation in a different light because Saffron is eavesdropping and it's my bet that they are aware of it, or that they are at least betting on it. Inara bends over backwards to communicate her complete and deliberate ignorance of the plan. And maybe Zoe's remark about not wanting to "pretend" was designed to make Saffron think that Zoe is more transparent and aboveboard than she really is.

As far as Better Days, I think if anyone's job brought someone dangerous close to Mal, they'd have gotten the same reaction from Zoe.

Hmm.

Fair enough, although even in those circumstances, the fact that she says stuff like that kinda gives some insight to what Zoe might feel about it. You're probably right, she mostly doesn't care, but every now and then it seems like there's some slight judgement, that might not be deliberate or malicious on Zoe's part and might be present even if she's friendly with Inara.

It's like when Kaylee points out the fancy dress in the window, and talks about Inara, and Zoe comments on how the dress is too much frooferah, and Mal gets uncomfortable about the indirect conversation about Inara and her job. It might not be a commentary from Zoe on Inara. But there's enough instances where it seems like Zoe could be but maybe she isn't that you have to wonder.

Yes, good points about Zoe, there is some ambiguity there. I was thinking of the parallel to a conversation between Inara and Kaylee. I think it was in The Train Job? Kaylee asks about contracting with clients who might be physically off-putting, and Inara gives a gentle but seemingly well-rehearsed reply about how physical appearance doesn't matter terribly. And I was thinking about how professionals such as therapists might counter questions about the challenges of their profession. For example, imagine how often therapists get asked these kinds of questions: "Do you ever get really boring clients? Someone who's really annoying? What about someone who's so messed up, they think they're right and everyone else is wrong. Or, someone who keeps making the same mistake again and again and who won't listen? I would have no patience for that nonsense." And magnify it by several factors if the therapist is working with a clientele that is considered undesirable. Convicts, substance abusers, spouse abusers, pedophiles. I get massage therapy regularly and I wonder how massage therapists deal with people who don't attend to hygiene as well as the therapist might like. Dentists too. I imagine defense attorneys get more than their fill of these inquiries. And some of these might be crossing the line into judgment, depending on the situation as well as the outlook and temperament of the speaker.

I wonder how much of the conversation was influenced by their knowledge that Saffron might be listening.

It also doesn't help that Inara and Zoe probably have the least time onscreen together. Really that conversation in Trash and the conversation in Better Days are the ONLY examples we have of Inara and Zoe talking alone without anyone else around (theoretically, barring Saffron). And then I start to wonder, are there instances of the two of them hanging out that we don't ever see because those moments just aren't plot relevant? Or are the two of them so different that they don't have much in common besides Mal and an appreciation for a nice luxurious bath now and then, and they just don't talk much?

And if they don't talk much, and the few times we do see Zoe talk to her and Zoe says something that could maybe be a smidgin judgmental, it seems like that might also say something about Zoe's opinion of Inara. Particularly because Zoe can be pretty diplomatic, so maybe what little she does say speaks volumes.

I think there is definitely a contrast between the conversation Zoe has and her responses, versus the conversation with Kaylee. There's well-meaning curiosity in both cases, but with Kaylee her question about having to service clients with "boils" and the way that Kaylee presents it doesn't have the undercurrent of "how can you even DO this job?" like Zoe's question and responses. I mean it's a very fine line between a conversation about how can someone fake emotional intimacy versus CALLING them a fake and being a little self-righteous about how "but I'D never be able to do that!"

Zoe's connections with Mal and Inara's relationship with Mal adds another layer to the conversation as well.